1986, August 13

Dear Nancy, I hope your fine & every thing’s OK. As you know I won’t be seeing Dodekins (Elyssa) it isn’t any good between us it hasn’t been for me since I went into Eagleville. I told her but she didn’t hear me. I love her but don’t want to be her lover or anyone else’s. The Boys are as bad as the girls.

I miss Barbara terribly. She’s always on my mind I always told people how funny she was. I wonder if she knew how much I loved her. My Mom said she did.

My friend Way died today. I upset about him he helped me get jobs when first moved to NYC. I used to have a blast working together. He made me a bracelet I still have it He was amazing if he wasn’t gay I would have try to marry him. Death makes life seem unreal Unreal in the sence that you can’t hold onto it When I was in the Mental Ward the last time I was lying in my bed and kept imagining Rod Sterling coming through doorway saying little about another dimension, in another time. I am falling asleep …

~ Thing of Beauty

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